'You deserve an award for the role that you played.....'
SO, I am staying another year. Participating in Sangae again. 16 & Pregnant mania - don't you judge me. Arguing with the Grandmother. Don't bloody care that she keeps saying the same things over and over again. Uploading my old LP and Evanescence albums into the iTouch was overwhelmingly nostalgic. I feel that I am keeping more and more to myself. I don't think it is necessarily bad. But rumination can lead to more rumination and onto darker, more pessimistic thoughts. There's also a fair bit of anger and frustration building up. In the scenarios I create in my head, I am screaming, in a voice I don't recognise, at people to GTFO or STFU or some variation of those. I spew all that's churning out onto them. The consequences are all so easily dealt with when it's up there. If only. But it's not.
Afraid to return because I always feel so fucking left out. Because I don't want to acknowledge how much I am not wanted.
