I was made deliriously happy by the boyfriend today. Just seeing him, and nothing else. Plus there was the revenge outfit (I am up to about 5 of those already). It was the last day of school and unlike the other semesters, I wasn't gloomy about it. No doubt it was partly because of him. But some part of me feels a little glad that school's ended because I want to stop feeling guilty for avoiding and pretending not to notice people in school. I just want to be alone. I want to continue listening to my ipod. I want to stop feeling a little fraud-ish by association. Maybe it's gone too far because I can feel the avoidance back at me. But I am not ready to break my music-filled bubble just yet. Maybe I'll screw things up, maybe I won't. At this point, I can't find anything in me to care. So I'll be there tomorrow (it won't be the real ME). And I'll try to be as quiet as I possibly can and sneak away after it's over.