Monday, July 19, 2010
'Cryptic words meander
Now there is a song beneath the song
One day you'll learn
You'll soon discern its true meaning'
I am not cut out for this. This being put in a position that I have never wanted or asked for. I hate the idea that niceness equals encouragement. Bantering no longer seems as insouciant or innocent as before. I hate this. I feel like I have somehow implicated myself into this situation. I thought I didn't have to worry because I made things clear but what happened? This is stupid. I am stupid because I assumed. I am not going down this stupid path ever again. No more Miss Nice. Sod off, a new motto.
The spark is apparently destroyed. We need to undo it. I am sorry this happened. We need to get our equilibrium back, or so help me. The red lines are an outlet I need to deal with this. It helps me feel better. Don't ask how, it just does. You asked but I was flippant. I can't tell you without crying. I can't explain it in a way that won't be erratic and nonsensical.
I want/need this drama to be over and return to things that made me happy.
Labels: whatthefuckdoIdonow
